Gene Simmons = Krusty the Clown
It's true. I've often wondered if the writers intentionally based Krusty the Clown on Gene Simmons, because when you look at the side by side comparison, it's pretty interesting.
Let's go down the list, shall we?
- Both non-practicing jews
- Similar hairstyles
- White face
- Both value money over everything
- Amazingly shoddy product lines
- Willing to market ANYTHING
- Krusty's Clown College = Gene Simmons' Rock School
I'm sure there's more, but the one that really drives it home for me is the episode where Krusty becomes respectable and shuns his former ways, then sells out and starts shilling the Canyonero.
It totally mirrors the early 90's when Gene was stating that all the 'toys and the merchandising' got in the way of the music. But when Kiss did their reunion tour in 1995, Gene took the opportunity to market absolutely everything, even going so far as to have other guys dressing up as Ace Frehley and Peter Criss, just to keep the money train rolling!
Another interesting point is that Krusty's show started out as a serious talk show but gradually devolved into a kid's show, not unlike Kiss, starting out as a band and basically becoming four clowns, what with all the toys and Gene still threatening to do the Kiss saturday morning cartoon.
I guess I'll end with some quotes. From Gene: “We're starting a cable network and a boxing venture, getting involved in Indy car racing, Warner Brothers is starting work on the 'KISS Babies' cartoon show, and the KISS Broadway musical is commencing production.”
I was looking for a good Krusty quote, but somehow this one from Sideshow Bob (while dressed as Krusty) semed more apt: "Hand over all your money in a paper bag"
EMPIRE!!!!!!
Last night I watched the greatest of all the Star Wars films: the Empire Strikes Back.
In fact, it's really the only one that's any good. I've always found Star Wars (Episode IV) kinda boring. And I liked the ewoks when I was seven, but now they kind of bother me. And don't get me started on that son of a bitch Jar Jar Binks, the worst character in cinematic history.
Anyway, Empire rules because the three greatest moments (in my mind) of the series are all in it.
1. Darth Vader's scabby head: Holy Crap, does this part ever rule! Damn, look at that thing, it makes the scariest guy ever even creepier!
2. Luke's Showdown with Vader in the Cave: when the head explodes and it's Luke's face underneath? Holy F*ck (safe for kids!), is that great cinema! And I think we all learned a valuable lesson.
3. Han Solo pulls a gun on the man himself, Darth Vader: Dear God, how tough do you have to be to try and bust a cap in the Dark Lord of the Sith? Damn Han Solo, you rule.
There you have it, the three reasons Empire is the best of 'em all. I know, I know, Jedi had Princess Leia in the metal bikini, (the first time I remember thinking that maybe girls weren't so icky after all...) but still.
I gotta say too, I mean I know we as young lads (and some ladies) enjoyed the Hell out of that, but doesn't it seem a bit ridiculous now? Leia was supposed to be a tough gal that kicked ass, and the metal bikini seems a bit of an insult.
Or maybe I'm just an idiot, who knows?
Hmm... how to wrap this up, oh I know! Episode I-III SUCK!!! Ever heard of Continuity? ARGHH!! Way to ruin EVERYTHING!!! DAMNITTOHELL!!!!!!!!!
Okay, glad I got that out.
Later, record lad the fanboy geek
Eating Trash off the Sidewalk
Today I walked past a bite-size Kit-Kat bar on the sidewalk and seriously considered picking it up and eating it.
Is there something wrong with me? Well, probably, but I don't think this is it. I think that considering eating a bite-size Kit-Kat bar off the sidewalk is something most people would do.
Barely any would admit to it, but you all know in your heart of hearts you would definitely think it over.
It's kind of like the "5 second rule" except that I have no idea how long that thing had been there. I guess in the end though, we're all way too paranoid to ever eat stuff off the ground.
We've all heard the stories, right? (urban legends?) You know, all the ones about the sickos who wrap up their poo in bite-size candy wrappers, or who put razor blades in candy apples (how would you even do that?) or they inject poison into soda cans with hypodermic needles. (I love that one)
I wonder if any of these things have ever happened or if we're all just complete idiots. I think it's funny that we have so little distrust for each other that these stories still continue to exist.
But I guess the idea of accidentally ingesting someone else's crap is enough to keep us terrified for years to come!
Hooray for Halloween!
It's true. I've often wondered if the writers intentionally based Krusty the Clown on Gene Simmons, because when you look at the side by side comparison, it's pretty interesting.
